


That's Why

by mggislife2789 (dontshootmespence)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Kisses, That's my excuse, i needed some reidaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22188313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontshootmespence/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: During the investigation into William Lee, Spencer goes to Elle’s hotel room to try getting through to his friend, which leads to something neither expected.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)
Relationships: Elle Greenaway/Spencer Reid
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	That's Why

As he walked down the hallway, he could feel something eating away at the bottom of his stomach, like an expanding black hole. He fumbled with the buttons on his blue sweater, debating whether or not to take it off, tighten it or some other third option he couldn’t think of right now.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door, silently hoping Elle would answer. “What’s up, genius?”

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t profile me,” she spat, guard up almost instantly. Force of habit.

Without thinking, Spencer walked into her hotel room and sat down at the table. She bristled at his entrance, but he couldn’t just walk away knowing what he knew. “I’m not,” he countered. “It doesn’t take a profiler to see that you’re in pain. It’s psych 101. This case has to be hitting home for you, Elle. You came back to the Bureau after four months and acted like nothing happened.”

“What was I supposed to do?” She asked, voice rising in pitch before she could catch herself. “Come back and cry to everyone.”

“Not necessarily,” Spencer said softly. “Look, Elle, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling, but keeping all of this to yourself…you’ll implode.”

Her lip began to quiver, nearly six months worth of pain and anguish bubbling just below the surface of her skin. Before he knew it, Spencer was reaching across the table to place his hand on hers. She glanced upward, her eyes meeting his for a brief moment before she looked away. Spencer saw a tear fall down her cheek. “Right after Garner shot me, he reached inside my wound to use blood and write on the wall. It’s a violation you can’t ever imagine. Like claws through cloth or-“ She shook with a violent fear. “It happened in my own home. It’s unimaginable, Reid. And now these women, they’re being violated where they should feel safe, and I-“ She choked on a sob, tears flowing freely for what felt like the first time since that day.

Before she knew what was happening, she and Reid were on the floor and she was cradled in his arms. He supported the back of her head against his shoulder and whispered words of comfort though he knew them to be hollow in the scheme of things. “It’s okay to cry, Elle.”

That only made her cry harder. And although she hated it, feeling so vulnerable, she knew she could trust Spencer.

He hated seeing her cry. Seeing anyone cry just brought those feelings of helplessness flooding back. But she needed to get it out or she’d implode – one way or another.

After what felt like hours, she fell asleep on the floor in his arms while he combed his fingers through her hair. His foot was falling asleep and he wasn’t going to be getting any sleep of his own tonight, but he couldn’t bear to move. For the first time since she’d returned to work, she seemed at peace and for all his discomfort, he wasn’t about to disturb her.

—

Something changed between them that night. Whenever she felt overwhelmed or scared or angry, she’d visit Spencer, whether at his desk at work or at home in his apartment. She felt at ease speaking her mind in front of him, knowing he wouldn’t judge no matter how fucked up the thought might seem. “I just…I know we can’t take the law into our own hands, but…”

Spencer popped the cap off two bottles of beer and walked back over the couch, sitting down beside her. He could sense her hesitation. “It’s okay, Elle.”

“Whenever I see someone like Lee, I can’t help but want to kill them. Don’t give the justice system a chance to fail, you know? So they can’t hurt anyone ever again.”

Reaching between her back and the supple leather of his couch, he pulled her toward him, her head resting on his shoulder. “I get it, Elle. Anyone in law enforcement who says they haven’t had those thoughts is a liar.” He leaned his cheek against her head, silence passing between them as she snuggled up closer.

“We keep getting these cases, Spencer…Just one after the other. When I first joined the BAU, a phone call would get my blood racing. There was nothing better than the hunt. But now every time the phone rings I feel like I’m being punched. I can’t breathe…like a two-ton weight is sitting on my chest.” She spoke faster and faster, her breaths jagged and desperate. Spencer squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “I thought it would get better, but it hasn’t…”

Everything in him wanted her to remain in the BAU, she was a great agent and better friend. He was so used to people leaving he was scared to lose her too, but the logical part of his mind knew what he had to suggest. “Elle, I realize you’re amazing at your job, but sometimes people can’t heal while they’re still neck deep in the thing that’s hurting them, you know? Maybe being reassigned to another department in the Bureau would allow you to heal.”

Honestly, the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. She figured she’d either get over it or it would consume her. “You think I should leave?”

“Not because I want you too,” he said honestly, “but because I think you might need to. That’s why. This could destroy you, Elle, and…I don’t want to lose you.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she lifted her head from his shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you either, but asking for reassignment makes sense. Me being reassigned could be beneficial for me in more ways than one.”

Spencer quirked his eyebrow up, wanting to believe that what she said mirrored how he was feeling. “How so?”

“You’re a genius, Dr. Reid,” she said softly. She rested her chin on his shoulder, eyes holding the words he wanted to hear. “I think you know.”

The moon shone on her hair like a halo, a little crooked but perfect all the same. Even months ago, he wouldn’t have had the courage to make his next move, but she’d changed him. That night had changed them. 

Reaching out, he tangled his hand in her hair and pulled her close, their lips just barely touching before he finally kissed her. She sighed into his mouth and relaxed into his hold. “Is that why?” He asked, laughing quietly as he pulled away.

“That’s why.”


End file.
